Squeaky
12th May 2002, 12:44 PM
Very low quality, but good enough for a Sunday afternoon!!
Four fonts walk into a bar The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't
want your type in here"
Two peanuts walk into a bar One was a salted
A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but
don't start anything"
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is
this some kind of joke?"
A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre.
So he gave her one (boom boom)
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve
food in here"
Dyslexic man walks into a bra
A seal walks into a club...
A man walks into a pub, goes up to the bar "Pint of best" he says to
the bar man, Whilst waiting for his drink he notices that Vincent Van
Gogh is sitting at one of the tables. He goes up to him and says "Are you Vincent Van Gogh?" "Yes" the old man replies "Do you want a pint?" "No, ta. I've got one ear."
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says
"Pint please, and one for the road."
It gets worse (arguably)........
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to
arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire
in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have
your kayak and heat it.
Two boll weevils grew up in Cornwall. One went to Hollywood and
became a famous actor. The other stayed behind, drove a tractor and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up
to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
Apologies in advance for those..but im sick..sick i tellz ya
Four fonts walk into a bar The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't
want your type in here"
Two peanuts walk into a bar One was a salted
A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but
don't start anything"
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is
this some kind of joke?"
A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre.
So he gave her one (boom boom)
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve
food in here"
Dyslexic man walks into a bra
A seal walks into a club...
A man walks into a pub, goes up to the bar "Pint of best" he says to
the bar man, Whilst waiting for his drink he notices that Vincent Van
Gogh is sitting at one of the tables. He goes up to him and says "Are you Vincent Van Gogh?" "Yes" the old man replies "Do you want a pint?" "No, ta. I've got one ear."
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says
"Pint please, and one for the road."
It gets worse (arguably)........
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to
arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire
in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have
your kayak and heat it.
Two boll weevils grew up in Cornwall. One went to Hollywood and
became a famous actor. The other stayed behind, drove a tractor and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up
to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
Apologies in advance for those..but im sick..sick i tellz ya