KMS
27th March 2002, 10:22 PM
This is hilarious, sorry about the formatting :D
> >Australian bricklayer report
> >> > >
> >> > >Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a
> >> > >bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the
> >> > >newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers'
> >> > >Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guy died,
> >> > >he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > >Dear Sir,
> >> > >
> >> > >I am writing in response to your request for
> >> > >additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I
> >> > >put
> >> > "poor
> >> > >planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller
> >> > explanation
> >> > >and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
> >> > >
> >> > >I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the
> >> > >accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story
>building.
> >> > >When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left
> >> > >over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in
> >> > >excess of 500lbs.
> >> > >
> >> > > Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower
> >> > >them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the
> >> > >side of the building on the sixth floor.
> >> > >
> >> > >Securing the rope at ground I went up to the
> >> > >roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I
> >> > >went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a
> >> > >slow descent of the bricks.
> >> > >
> >> > >You will note in Block 11 of the accident
> >> > >report form that I weigh 135lbs.
> >> > >
> >> > >Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I
> >> > >lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the
>rope.
> >> > >
> >> > >Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the
> >> > >building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel,
> >> > >which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive
> >> > >speed.
> >> > >
> >> > >This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions
> >> > >and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3
> >> > >of the accident report form.
> >> > >
> >> > >Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent,
> >> > >not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two
> >> > >knuckles
>deep
> >> > >into the pulley.
> >> > >
> >> > > Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence
> >> > >of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope,
> >> > >in spite of beginning to experience pain.
> >> > >
> >> > >At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks
> >> > >hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
> >> > >
> >> > >Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed
> >> > >approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight.
> >> > >
> >> > > As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of
> >> > >the building.
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > >I n the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
> >> > >
> >> > >This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and
> >> > >several lacerations of my legs and lower body.
> >> > >
> >> > >Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the
> >> > >barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when
>I
> >> > >fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three
> >> > >vertebrae
>were
> >> > >cracked.
> >> > >
> >> > >I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of
> >> > >bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and
> >> > >presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching
> >> > >the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.
> >> > >
> >> > >This explains the two broken legs.
> >> > >
> >> > >I hope this answers your inquiry. :D :D :D
> >Australian bricklayer report
> >> > >
> >> > >Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a
> >> > >bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the
> >> > >newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers'
> >> > >Compensation board. This is a true story. Had this guy died,
> >> > >he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > >Dear Sir,
> >> > >
> >> > >I am writing in response to your request for
> >> > >additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I
> >> > >put
> >> > "poor
> >> > >planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller
> >> > explanation
> >> > >and I trust the following details will be sufficient.
> >> > >
> >> > >I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the
> >> > >accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story
>building.
> >> > >When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left
> >> > >over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in
> >> > >excess of 500lbs.
> >> > >
> >> > > Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower
> >> > >them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the
> >> > >side of the building on the sixth floor.
> >> > >
> >> > >Securing the rope at ground I went up to the
> >> > >roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I
> >> > >went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a
> >> > >slow descent of the bricks.
> >> > >
> >> > >You will note in Block 11 of the accident
> >> > >report form that I weigh 135lbs.
> >> > >
> >> > >Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I
> >> > >lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the
>rope.
> >> > >
> >> > >Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the
> >> > >building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel,
> >> > >which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive
> >> > >speed.
> >> > >
> >> > >This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions
> >> > >and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3
> >> > >of the accident report form.
> >> > >
> >> > >Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent,
> >> > >not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two
> >> > >knuckles
>deep
> >> > >into the pulley.
> >> > >
> >> > > Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence
> >> > >of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope,
> >> > >in spite of beginning to experience pain.
> >> > >
> >> > >At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks
> >> > >hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
> >> > >
> >> > >Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed
> >> > >approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight.
> >> > >
> >> > > As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of
> >> > >the building.
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > >I n the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.
> >> > >
> >> > >This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and
> >> > >several lacerations of my legs and lower body.
> >> > >
> >> > >Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the
> >> > >barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when
>I
> >> > >fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three
> >> > >vertebrae
>were
> >> > >cracked.
> >> > >
> >> > >I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of
> >> > >bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and
> >> > >presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching
> >> > >the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me.
> >> > >
> >> > >This explains the two broken legs.
> >> > >
> >> > >I hope this answers your inquiry. :D :D :D