CyberdynSystems
9th January 2003, 01:36 AM
Screwups of the Year,
A little like the "Darwin Awards"
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during
a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did
Something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried
the trigger again. This time it worked.
********************************************
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to
have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The
chef's claim was approved.
*********************************************
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to! find a woman had taken
the space. Understandably, he shot her.
**********************************************
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare
to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver
went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that
the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception
wasn't discovered for 3 days.
A love this guy!
**************************************************
An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
the injuries, the lad told police that he w! as simply trying to see how close
he
could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
..sounds logical??? :scratch:
************************************************** *
There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients
always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11 a.m.,
regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something
to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery... as to
why the deaths occurred around 11 a.m. on Sundays. So a World-Wide
team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the
incidents.
The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and
nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the
terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses,
prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.
Just when the clock struck 11... Pookie Johnson, the part-ti! me Sunday
sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so
that he could use the vacuum cleaner.
********************************************
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid
cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a
killer whale ate them both.
A little like the "Darwin Awards"
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during
a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did
Something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried
the trigger again. This time it worked.
********************************************
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to
have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The
chef's claim was approved.
*********************************************
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to! find a woman had taken
the space. Understandably, he shot her.
**********************************************
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare
to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver
went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that
the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception
wasn't discovered for 3 days.
A love this guy!
**************************************************
An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
the injuries, the lad told police that he w! as simply trying to see how close
he
could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
..sounds logical??? :scratch:
************************************************** *
There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients
always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11 a.m.,
regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something
to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery... as to
why the deaths occurred around 11 a.m. on Sundays. So a World-Wide
team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the
incidents.
The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and
nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the
terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses,
prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.
Just when the clock struck 11... Pookie Johnson, the part-ti! me Sunday
sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so
that he could use the vacuum cleaner.
********************************************
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid
cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a
killer whale ate them both.