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View Full Version : Things You'd Love To Say At Work, But Can't!


Jules
15th May 2002, 05:41 PM
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ****.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.

5. I am really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of
view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This is not an office. It is Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

bubbadog
15th May 2002, 06:16 PM
What do you mean, can't say at work? That's a transcript of a normal day for me! :D

Talon
15th May 2002, 06:59 PM
Originally posted by Jules

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?


Oh man, if someone knows how to do this I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!

GITster
15th May 2002, 09:44 PM
well..

/puts thinking cap on...

Laser printers have to generate a high voltage to electrically charge the drum, you could lead a wire from this to outside the chassis so it gives an electric shock to anyone who touches it :D

Farabomb
16th May 2002, 02:17 AM
LOL

Thanks Jules, now I have something to say at work besides: get the F away or it'll never work again.

Jules
16th May 2002, 04:07 AM
So glad I could help you out with that! :)